Flying High
by badly-knitted
Summary: Ryo's injured during an arrest and things go downhill from there. WARNING: This is a very silly fic, bordering on cracky. Ryo is acting rather OOC but it's really not his fault. Written for the recent amnesty challenge at fan flashworks using Challenge #86: Health and Fitness, #84: Drugs & #82: Flight. I couldn't decide which it fitted best.


**Title:** Flying High

**Fandom:** FAKE

**Author:** badly-knitted

**Characters:** Dee, Ryo, Chief Smith, Bikky, OCs. Mentions Ted and Marty

**Rating:** PG-13

**Setting:** After the manga, but before Like Like Love

**Summary:** Ryo's injured during an arrest and things go downhill from there.

**Word Count:** 1650

**Written For:** Challenge #93: Amnesty at fan_flashworks, using Challenge #86: Health and Fitness, #84: Drugs & #82: Flight

**Disclaimer:** I don't own FAKE, or the characters. They belong to the wonderful Sanami Matoh.

**A/N:** I'm not entirely sure where this idea came from, but it was silly and it amused me, so I figured I'd try to write it. It ended up being a lot longer than I'd expected. It's a bit on the cracky side, and Ryo is very OOC, but it's really not his fault.

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All cops understood that even successful busts weren't necessarily trouble free, and today's had proved to be a case in point. The thug they were after had resisted arrest, fighting back and leaving Ryo nursing a dislocated shoulder, so while Ted and Marty took the guy in for booking, Dee drove his partner straight to the ER. Which was where the real trouble started.

It should have been straightforward, just get the joint popped back into place, strap Ryo's shoulder up, dose him with painkillers and then the pair of them could head back to the precinct to complete the paperwork. _Should_ have been straightforward, but some days things just didn't go their way. First they were kept waiting for nearly an hour, then when the doctors tried to put Ryo's dislocated shoulder back, the muscles surrounding the joint went into spasm. He'd already been given pain relief before the procedure, but the doctor decided a muscle relaxant would be a good idea too, so…

On the bright side it worked, un-knotting Ryo's shoulder so that the joint popped back quite easily, but there was a downside; painkillers, muscle relaxants and Ryo apparently didn't mix too well. Within ten minutes, he was high as a kite. At least he didn't seem to be in any pain, rambling happily about all the pretty colours and following just about anything that moved so that Dee had to keep chasing after him.

"It happens sometimes," the doctor told Dee, looking quite unconcerned. "Don't worry about it. Should wear off in a few hours, just take him home and keep an eye on him until he comes down. He'll be fine."

With a sigh, Dee steered Ryo, whose left arm was now supported in a sling, out to the car, strapped him in and set out to drive back to Ryo's apartment. What the doctor had neglected to tell him was that Ryo would get worse before he got better. All Dee could think during the drive was that it was a good thing the car had central locking; it kept Ryo from climbing out and wandering off, following whatever briefly captured his attention as Dee manoeuvred the car through heavy lunchtime traffic.

All in all, the journey ended up being quite a harrowing experience. Having given up on trying to get out of the moving car, Ryo had turned his attention to Dee, becoming very affectionate, something Dee would have relished under other circumstances. However, trying to keep his lover out of his lap while driving had been a major headache; Ryo was surprisingly agile and even having one arm in a sling didn't seem to hamper him much as he scrambled around in the car like a hyperactive two-year-old. Dee considered it a miracle that he managed to avoid crashing, but somehow they had reached their destination in one piece.

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OoOoOoO

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By the time he'd manhandled Ryo up three flights of stairs and through the door of his apartment, locking it securely behind them, Dee felt exhausted, his nerves shredded and his patience wearing thin. There was still one thing he needed to do before he collapsed though, so he pulled out his phone and called the chief to let him know they wouldn't be back at work today after all.

"Sorry, Sir, we're gonna have to take the rest of the day off. Ryo's not safe to be left alone. The doc said the effects should wear off in a few hours, but until then, someone's gotta keep an eye on him, try to keep him outta trouble."

"What the hell are you talking about, Laytner?" the chief bellowed down the phone at him. "What's wrong with Randy? I thought he just dislocated his shoulder!"

"Yeah, he did, but he's having some kind of bad reaction to the drugs the doc gave him." Dee lowered his voice. "It's like he's high, or seriously drunk. It's kinda freaky."

Distantly, in the background, the chief could hear Ryo's voice.

"I'm a duck? Can I fly?"

"Crap," the chief heard Dee mutter before he raised his voice, addressing Ryo. "No, dude, I didn't say you're a duck, I said you're drunk."

"Oh." Silence for a moment as Ryo's addled brain tried to work that out, then: "Do ducks get drunk? Yes, drunk duck." He looked over at Dee. "Drunk ducks shouldn't fly, that's not safe."

Dee bit his lip, trying not to laugh.

"Laytner?"

"Chief?"

"Just make sure he doesn't try to fly out the window."

"Will do. I'll be in tomorrow; not so sure about Ryo."

"Good luck; sounds like you'll need it."

"Yeah, thanks." Dee hung up and turned to Ryo, who was studying the sling supporting his arm.

"Did I fall out of the sky? Broke my wing. Can't fly with a broken wing." He looked mournfully at Dee. "That's sad. Poor drunk duck."

Wrapping his arms carefully around his lover, Dee held him close, offering what comfort he could. Trying to set Ryo straight would probably only confuse him further; maybe it would be better just to humour him until the drugs wore off.

"Yeah babe, that's exactly what happened. It'll be okay though, I'll keep you safe until you can fly again."

"Promise?"

Dee kissed the top of Ryo's head and drew back to look at him. He seemed less hyper, so maybe he was starting to come down. If he could just get Ryo to settle, maybe he'd have a chance to catch his breath. He was badly in need of coffee.

"I promise. Always."

Ryo's answering smile was dazzling.

"You know what's best for drunk, wounded ducks?" Dee asked.

Wide, serious eyes gazed questioningly at him, and Ryo shook his head.

"No, what?"

"Rest, so your… uh, your wing can heal. Aren't you getting sleepy by now?" Dee crossed his fingers behind his back. With Ryo in such a suggestible state, it might just work.

Dark eyes turned thoughtful as Ryo considered the question, finally nodding.

"Sleepy duck," he agreed. As the drugs wore off and drowsiness started to set in, his sentences were getting shorter. Befuddled Ryo was kinda cute.

"Okay, that's good. C'mon." Dee steered Ryo into his bedroom. "Here you go; you can rest in here."

Ryo stared at the un-made bed, left that way this morning because Dee had spent the night and they'd wound up running late.

"Nest!" he declared in satisfaction, turning to Dee for confirmation.

"Uh, yeah, that's your nest."

That was good enough for Ryo. He scrambled awkwardly into the middle of the bed, pulling the pillows and comforter around him and snuggling down. He definitely looked sleepy now.

"Right, good. You rest in your nest. Sleep and dream of flying." He seemed content so Dee left him to rest and headed to the kitchen. Coffee for himself, and a soothing cup of tea for Ryo; it wouldn't do to make him hyper again, but he should probably drink something.

Five minutes later, Dee had barely had a chance to sip his coffee before a figure appeared in the kitchen doorway. Ryo looked lost and bewildered, barefoot but otherwise still fully clothed.

'There goes my well-earned break,' Dee thought dismally. He loved Ryo, but honestly, he wasn't sure how much more he could take today. He knew it wasn't Ryo's fault he was like this, but still… Work would have been more restful than trying to cope with a hyperactive, spaced out adult.

"What're you doin' out here? Thought I'd left you resting in your… nest."

Ryo looked pleadingly at Dee.

"Big, empty nest," he sighed, shoulders slumping. "Lonely duck."

Dee's heart melted and all exasperation fled. Dammit, even high on prescription meds Ryo still managed to be adorable.

"Okay, why don't we snuggle up in your nest together? I made us warm drinks." After all, what else can a guy do when his drugged up lover has accidentally become convinced he's a duck and doesn't like being left alone in his nest? Sometimes you just have to go with the flow.

That idea seemed to make Ryo happy, so Dee followed him into the bedroom, got him settled among the pillows and handed him his cup of tea.

"Drink this. It's tea." Then just to be safe, he added, "Ducks like tea."

"Mmm. Good tea," Ryo agreed.

As soon as their drinks were finished, Dee put the cups on the windowsill and settled himself comfortably against one of the biggest pillows. Ryo immediately snuggled into his arms, resting his head on Dee's chest and quickly falling asleep. Dee wasn't sure whether he hoped Ryo would remember all of this later or not; he'd be so embarrassed about the whole 'duck' thing. Ah well, they'd cross that bridge if it became necessary. Though, it might be fun to tease his partner about it later, and it would make great blackmail material. Or maybe he'd just keep it to himself; the memory of Ryo, usually the most down-to-earth and sensible person Dee had ever met, behaving so out of character was priceless. He couldn't help wishing he'd had the chance to video some of his lover's antics. Still smiling at the thought, Dee drifted off into much-needed sleep.

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OoOoOoO

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A couple of hours later, when Bikky got home from school and looked through the open door to Ryo's bedroom, he found them curled up together in what looked to him like some weird sort of pillow fort that had been constructed in the middle of Ryo's bed; they were both still dressed but fast asleep. He sighed and shook his head, leaving them to it. There was no denying it; adults were just plain weird at the best of times, but those two were _really_ out there. Looked like he'd be ordering pizza for dinner. He supposed he'd better get enough for all of them. The perv could pay him back later.

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The End


End file.
